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I was born into an extended family with a need to be noticed. A curious, dreamy and adventurous boy often getting into trouble for this, never truly knew how to walk in line.
Dance came later in life, not as a long fulfilled dream, but more a coat I ran into and that fitted perfectly. It gave me the attention needed, an expression and a voice.
A place where I was not seen as strange, a place beyond words, and where I could live through my physical and imaginative being.
Words, my liking for them and my writing came later. Another discovery that truly inspired me as acting did, something I studied as well.
I got to know their alchemy, their creative and life changing power. A way to lead you to deeper knowing, to knowledge contrary to information.
Being a boy from the farm I grew up building a strong physic, able to deal with forces, have endurance, independence, and know the ‘good’ feeling of ‘hard’ work. The intimate unburdened contact with animals, the earth, nature and space, all that formed me.
I took a four year education, starting when I was 20, in ballet (Russian Vaganova), modern dance, jazz, graham, flamenco, stylised folk dancing, among other styles.
Loved the fairy like role of being a prince in ballet but had the physic and mentality of a modern dancer in a wide range of styles, from very technical to experimental, from theatrical to the internal world of Japanese Butoh.
Dance took me several times around the world travelling with different troupes, with truly inspiring choreographers and directors, a mutual falling in love.
It was a way of being in the world for me, never a job to this day.
I need to be needed and the best comes out of me, I give it my all. I will put in the work, not afraid to endure. I need the troupe as much as my need for individuality. It comes down to structure, discipline and work. A faith as in fearing nothing , a drive to freedom that equals honesty. All this together brings roundedness, balance and security.
Dance for sure has been therapeutic when looking back, also in reflecting on the choreographies I made. A transformative process from the unconscious soul put into form through a creative, alchemistic process. I never intended it to be therapeutic, I played, enjoyed, was curious and followed my intuitive drive but always recognised its healing (as in making whole) powers.
Once a dancer always a dancer. For sure that applies to me, with the Argentine Tango taking a special place within its wordless expression and communication. It was always embedded in that bigger dance and a theatrical awareness, the dance of life.
The tango offered me another way in into the world of intimacy and relationship with mutual dependency and responsibility whichever role you play, man/woman, leader/follower, speaker/listener. It is a place to experience the amazing range of the human soul with all of its expressions.
Teaching forced me to define and clarify this what instinctually drives me. It gave the space for my endless need to question, every time again.
“What am I doing? What is it for? What is driving me? What is connection? What is freedom? How does meaning come into existence?
Who am I?
It brings me to the spiritual, ‘to find the connection with all things’.
Writing, reading, social dancing, performing, teaching, choreographing, physical work as in farming and being a handy man, therapeutic work, running and training, relationships, having a child, it all flows into one another, all is interconnected, is One.
Life and all things I do, all is ONE for me, one and the same thing.
Also waiting for a bus, cooking the daily meals for my family or sitting in a bar. As does feeling lost, being embarrassed or angry and cherishing my imperfections.
And lately diving seriously into my little family, having a young child, a partner, a love, living closely together is another layer, experience, dimension, added to this that makes whole.
I love travel, a favourite state of being and a metaphor for my life. Home is a more challenging subject, but for sure home is in my movement, my work and my body, being with my loved ones. Home is community, a family like a troupe.
There is a house in Sweden, 300 km north of Stockholm, a place I love that reminds me of the wide open spaces of nature from when I was a kid. A place I regularly give tango/feldenkrais weeks, simply wonderful.
Feldenkrais and Tango.. the way you teach them.. are the two wings of dance.. the inner exploration and the outwards expression. I want more.
So many times during the week the truth of what you said brought tears to my eyes.. Somehow these are not just dance truths.. these are universal truths and that is why they are worth dancing.
What matters is your sharing of the principles.. the essence of the dance. Movement that springs from inspiration.. inspiration that springs from music and a life history and a moment in someone’s arms, movement that follows a vision, an imagining of a course, the course of a river, with rocks and roots and eddies and currents, but that like water that holds the intension to flow downhill to reach the sea. The dance seems somehow to express my nature and to spring from the source and end in the source.